MH has a sore throat. Because of the recent nationwide panic attack about swine flu, of course that was our first idea for what might be wrong with her.
Now, however, we have discovered the real problem....while she was sleeping a spider crawled in to her throat and laid eggs!
Well, either that or she has strep or something.
11 November 2009
09 November 2009
imitation is the sincerest form of...making fun of you
MH mentioned a while back that #1, when he does not hear or understand what someone is saying, says, "huh?"
This seems pretty normal, most people have done the same at some point. However, she says that he does this VERY frequently and that he sounds like a canadian goose. In telling me this, she then imitated the noise. We talked about it a lot and imitated the "huh" noise over and over again. Every time #1 mumbles something, one of us will go, "huh" and the other will crack up. I had never even noticed before, but now every time the three of us have a conversation, at some point #1 will say, "huh?" and MH and I will just about die laughing.
The really funny thing about it now is that he doesn't even sound anything like our imitation of him. He just says, "huh?" It's not that big a deal. It doesn't actually sound like a canadian goose in reality. It sounds like a human being saying, "huh?".
But it gets funnier and funnier every time.
I am a little worried that #1 will catch on someday when I am laughing in his face and he doesn't know why.
This seems pretty normal, most people have done the same at some point. However, she says that he does this VERY frequently and that he sounds like a canadian goose. In telling me this, she then imitated the noise. We talked about it a lot and imitated the "huh" noise over and over again. Every time #1 mumbles something, one of us will go, "huh" and the other will crack up. I had never even noticed before, but now every time the three of us have a conversation, at some point #1 will say, "huh?" and MH and I will just about die laughing.
The really funny thing about it now is that he doesn't even sound anything like our imitation of him. He just says, "huh?" It's not that big a deal. It doesn't actually sound like a canadian goose in reality. It sounds like a human being saying, "huh?".
But it gets funnier and funnier every time.
I am a little worried that #1 will catch on someday when I am laughing in his face and he doesn't know why.
08 November 2009
busy week
Since my last nights off, I feel as if every time I come into work I just spend eight hours running laps around the plant.
This was my third night in main lab this week, and I complained about how busy I was Wednesday night when I had five FB's and a couple of other plating samples. Thursday night, that was trumped by seven FB's, a receiving and a few transfers. I complained about that, too.
Tonight I had EIGHT receiving samples, two AR's, three FBs, two transfers and three 24 hours. Plus re-checks and regular eight hour checks?
If it had been too busy for someone else to get my plating done, it would not have been physically possible for me to do it myself and leave even remotely on time.
Insanity.
Because it has been so busy, I have been really, really, really crazy and I may or may not have at one point tonight freaked out at #'s 1&2 about a kosher wash certificate to the point where I was kind of embarrassed and thought neither of them would ever want to speak to me again and at another point hid from DK in the blending control room (with #'s 1&2, who apparently had no qualms about speaking to me again) for at least ten minutes because I got air in the lactoscope and I didn't want to show my face until it got fixed.
This was my third night in main lab this week, and I complained about how busy I was Wednesday night when I had five FB's and a couple of other plating samples. Thursday night, that was trumped by seven FB's, a receiving and a few transfers. I complained about that, too.
Tonight I had EIGHT receiving samples, two AR's, three FBs, two transfers and three 24 hours. Plus re-checks and regular eight hour checks?
If it had been too busy for someone else to get my plating done, it would not have been physically possible for me to do it myself and leave even remotely on time.
Insanity.
Because it has been so busy, I have been really, really, really crazy and I may or may not have at one point tonight freaked out at #'s 1&2 about a kosher wash certificate to the point where I was kind of embarrassed and thought neither of them would ever want to speak to me again and at another point hid from DK in the blending control room (with #'s 1&2, who apparently had no qualms about speaking to me again) for at least ten minutes because I got air in the lactoscope and I didn't want to show my face until it got fixed.
07 November 2009
KB Seafood
Does it say something about me that I would rather test a product that is really difficult to test than a product that is easy to test, but smells awful?
06 November 2009
my parents ruined me
I was in main lab again tonight, and it was another ridiculously busy shift.
EVERY final blend check I did came out .01 away from target.
Any normal human being would be thrilled that all of the solids were coming out just about perfect. Any normal lab tech would tell the blenders and the processors that those products were spot on.
As you, oh wise internet, may already know, I am not normal.
When I was a kid and I brought my report card home from school, every 99 I got was met with the question, "what happened to that other point?"
I know they were trying to joke, but it was kind of serious. Mom, Dad, I'm sorry I only got 99s and not 100s on everything. Sometimes my grades dipped as low as 95s. I know I am a huge disappointment.
Beavis, VM, DK, I'm sorry I couldn't get my solids checks right exactly on target. I'm sorry the vanilla medpass was a 38.29 and the zensoy plain was a 9.01 (and then an 8.99 after it transferred) and the KB Beef was a 2.99 in one silo and a 3.01 in the other.
Clearly, I am a failure as a lab tech.
EVERY final blend check I did came out .01 away from target.
Any normal human being would be thrilled that all of the solids were coming out just about perfect. Any normal lab tech would tell the blenders and the processors that those products were spot on.
As you, oh wise internet, may already know, I am not normal.
When I was a kid and I brought my report card home from school, every 99 I got was met with the question, "what happened to that other point?"
I know they were trying to joke, but it was kind of serious. Mom, Dad, I'm sorry I only got 99s and not 100s on everything. Sometimes my grades dipped as low as 95s. I know I am a huge disappointment.
Beavis, VM, DK, I'm sorry I couldn't get my solids checks right exactly on target. I'm sorry the vanilla medpass was a 38.29 and the zensoy plain was a 9.01 (and then an 8.99 after it transferred) and the KB Beef was a 2.99 in one silo and a 3.01 in the other.
Clearly, I am a failure as a lab tech.
05 November 2009
90 days without a lost time accident
We have a brand new digital counter (replacing a chalkboard one) to record the number of days we go without someone getting injured. On one of the bulletin boards is a list of incentives based on the number of days. If we go 60 days, we get a plant-wide pizza party. 90 days gets $25 gas cards for 45 people, drawn randomly. The list goes on from there.
We're at a 101 days as of today, and they finally posted who won those gas cards.
I got a text message from #3 yesterday afternoon saying that I was one of the lucky winners.
I never win anything!
I was super psyched.
On my way to lunch tonight, I noticed the bulletin board where they'd posted the winners. I scanned the 3rd shift section. I didn't see my name. I looked closer. My name was not on the 3rd shift list of winners.
I spent most of my lunch break flipping out about WHY he would LIE TO ME about winning a gas card. Does he think I wouldn't notice? Did he really want to trick me into talking to him? What does he think my name is? WHAT THE HELL, MAN?
Not only did I get tricked into talking to him, I didn't actually get twenty-five bucks? That is like the lamest thing ever.
I ranted about this for our entire break, really.
And then, on the way back in from lunch, one of the maintenance guys said..."Hey, RC, why'd they put your name under 2nd shift?"
We're at a 101 days as of today, and they finally posted who won those gas cards.
I got a text message from #3 yesterday afternoon saying that I was one of the lucky winners.
I never win anything!
I was super psyched.
On my way to lunch tonight, I noticed the bulletin board where they'd posted the winners. I scanned the 3rd shift section. I didn't see my name. I looked closer. My name was not on the 3rd shift list of winners.
I spent most of my lunch break flipping out about WHY he would LIE TO ME about winning a gas card. Does he think I wouldn't notice? Did he really want to trick me into talking to him? What does he think my name is? WHAT THE HELL, MAN?
Not only did I get tricked into talking to him, I didn't actually get twenty-five bucks? That is like the lamest thing ever.
I ranted about this for our entire break, really.
And then, on the way back in from lunch, one of the maintenance guys said..."Hey, RC, why'd they put your name under 2nd shift?"
04 November 2009
serves me right
Leaving work this morning, I was so distracted being outwardly disapproving and inwardly highly amused at #4's antics that I left work, got on the highway and went probably a quarter of the way home before remembering that I needed to stop for gas. Oops.
01 November 2009
marshmallow brains
I made cupcakes for Halloween last night and brought them in to work. They had this really light, fluffy, sticky meringue frosting. It was meringue. It was made almost entirely out of egg whites and sugar (and air).
When CD and one of the processors, JK, were talking about the cupcakes, they both said how the frosting was...different. It was sticky and sweet, but light...like marshmallows.
I was standing there, so I told them that is was meringue. And CD said it was like marshmallow fluff. And I said, no, it was meringue. And JK said it was so fluffy, like marshmallows. And I said...it was meringue. And then they said it was homemade, so it was like homemade melted marshmallows. And said, no, it was...meringue.
This went on for maybe a full minute. I don't think I got through to them.
When CD and one of the processors, JK, were talking about the cupcakes, they both said how the frosting was...different. It was sticky and sweet, but light...like marshmallows.
I was standing there, so I told them that is was meringue. And CD said it was like marshmallow fluff. And I said, no, it was meringue. And JK said it was so fluffy, like marshmallows. And I said...it was meringue. And then they said it was homemade, so it was like homemade melted marshmallows. And said, no, it was...meringue.
This went on for maybe a full minute. I don't think I got through to them.
done processing
The words "done processing" are like a magic salve that calms a savage lab tech. When a product is done processing, it means that the main lab tech doesn't have to check it anymore, which makes the main lab tech happy. When a product is done processing, it means an end is in sight for the tetra tech, which makes the tetra tech happy. When a product is done processing, it means the 4oz tech doesn't have to read the system anymore, which makes the 4oz tech happy. It is a wonderful thing.
Unless you are in tetra and the steritank is pretty dang full and you have four products allll night long and then TWO of them end right at the end of your shift.
Yeah. When that happens, it kind of sucks.
Unless you are in tetra and the steritank is pretty dang full and you have four products allll night long and then TWO of them end right at the end of your shift.
Yeah. When that happens, it kind of sucks.
the creepiest thing I've ever heard. EVER.
To preface this story: MH refers to her husband as 'the man-child' and they have been fighting about money lately because he spends way too much on food.
We had this conversation:
Her: Hey, I dare you to sit on the bloater chair.
Me: I'll do it for twenty bucks.
Her: Twenty bucks? That's like a whole day of man-child food.
Me: Haha, when you say man-child food I picture like a jar of "man-child food"
We then commenced to discuss what a jar of man-child food would look like. It would have a picture of a grown man, but wearing a bib and bonnet and holding a rattle.
At this point in the conversation, a supervisor from another department, VM, walked out of the office next to us and here is what he said:
"I'd do that for you."
He said that and he kept walking right out the door of the lab. I don't think I have ever seen anyone so deadpan in my entire life. I laughed/wanted to cry/throw up for a full five minutes.
We had this conversation:
Her: Hey, I dare you to sit on the bloater chair.
Me: I'll do it for twenty bucks.
Her: Twenty bucks? That's like a whole day of man-child food.
Me: Haha, when you say man-child food I picture like a jar of "man-child food"
We then commenced to discuss what a jar of man-child food would look like. It would have a picture of a grown man, but wearing a bib and bonnet and holding a rattle.
At this point in the conversation, a supervisor from another department, VM, walked out of the office next to us and here is what he said:
"I'd do that for you."
He said that and he kept walking right out the door of the lab. I don't think I have ever seen anyone so deadpan in my entire life. I laughed/wanted to cry/throw up for a full five minutes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)