Got 99 problems and sugar free pudding is always one...

Statistics:
-I understand one sixth of every conversation I have with Beavis.
-Seven out of every ten pudding runs have major problems.
-Twenty percent of ESL chocolate gets put on hold for low/high solids.
-Every "minute" DK needs to talk to you takes at least ten minutes.
-The more viscous, smelly or sticky a product is, the more likely you are to spill it all over yourself.
-It is 80 degrees in the lab, 88 in the plating room. 100% humidity.
-The likelihood of getting an air conditioner in the plating room before summer ends is approximately one in thirty.
-The likelihood of #1 speaking to me before the end of the month is approximately one in fifty.
-The odds of someone in the lab quitting in the next two months are about one in twenty.
-There are currently twenty lab techs on staff.