two stories

story A:

On my one of my tetra audits, #4 threw a pack of Horizon Chocolate at me. Not entirely intentionally I knocked over a pack and made the line shut down. Entirely intentionally, I feigned ignorance when he tried to tell me how to start it up again. Obviously this is terrible retaliation, because it made him WALK TEN FEET to PUSH A BUTTON. Aren't I awful?
He sprayed me with the air hose, and then threatened to spray me with water...I quote, "I'll spray you with water, I'll get you all wet."
There was a pause as that little gem sunk in. I snorted in disbelief and walked away.
The only other appropriate response would have been to say, "in your dreams."

story B:

The ESL fillers were having some serious issues today. Just one of those things that happens from time to time. MH was looking out the window, having missed her audit because the filler was down again and exclaimed, "Oh! It's running again!" At this, DK wheeled around and said, "WHAT?!" in a tone that would have been more appropriate if she had said, "I hope your mother gets cancer and dies a slow and painful death." then having noted the EH2 starting up.
Completely unnerved by this disproportionate reaction, she said, "I...I just said that the filler is running again..."
"Ohhhh....I thought you said it was RAINING again!"