A couple of nights ago #2 had me in stitches with some conspiratorial (is that seriously a word of which spell check approves?) whispers about a new guy in his department.
Tonight, he was not trying to entertain me, but I definitely had a bit of a laugh at his expense...
Probably a month or so ago, someone in the lab had asked him a question which he needed to ask his supervisor about. He refused to page said supervisor because he didn't know how to pronounce the supervisor's last name. We told him how to pronounce it, but he just said, "I can't say it. I don't want to page him." so someone else did it.
I have never heard him page a supervisor until tonight. There is a different supervisor in his department now than there was a month or so ago. His last name is perhaps easier to pronounce, though neither of them is particularly difficult.
#2 paged his supervisor today using only his first name.
Something about that just cracked me up.
29 October 2009
28 October 2009
two stories
story A:
On my one of my tetra audits, #4 threw a pack of Horizon Chocolate at me. Not entirely intentionally I knocked over a pack and made the line shut down. Entirely intentionally, I feigned ignorance when he tried to tell me how to start it up again. Obviously this is terrible retaliation, because it made him WALK TEN FEET to PUSH A BUTTON. Aren't I awful?
He sprayed me with the air hose, and then threatened to spray me with water...I quote, "I'll spray you with water, I'll get you all wet."
There was a pause as that little gem sunk in. I snorted in disbelief and walked away.
The only other appropriate response would have been to say, "in your dreams."
story B:
The ESL fillers were having some serious issues today. Just one of those things that happens from time to time. MH was looking out the window, having missed her audit because the filler was down again and exclaimed, "Oh! It's running again!" At this, DK wheeled around and said, "WHAT?!" in a tone that would have been more appropriate if she had said, "I hope your mother gets cancer and dies a slow and painful death." then having noted the EH2 starting up.
Completely unnerved by this disproportionate reaction, she said, "I...I just said that the filler is running again..."
"Ohhhh....I thought you said it was RAINING again!"
On my one of my tetra audits, #4 threw a pack of Horizon Chocolate at me. Not entirely intentionally I knocked over a pack and made the line shut down. Entirely intentionally, I feigned ignorance when he tried to tell me how to start it up again. Obviously this is terrible retaliation, because it made him WALK TEN FEET to PUSH A BUTTON. Aren't I awful?
He sprayed me with the air hose, and then threatened to spray me with water...I quote, "I'll spray you with water, I'll get you all wet."
There was a pause as that little gem sunk in. I snorted in disbelief and walked away.
The only other appropriate response would have been to say, "in your dreams."
story B:
The ESL fillers were having some serious issues today. Just one of those things that happens from time to time. MH was looking out the window, having missed her audit because the filler was down again and exclaimed, "Oh! It's running again!" At this, DK wheeled around and said, "WHAT?!" in a tone that would have been more appropriate if she had said, "I hope your mother gets cancer and dies a slow and painful death." then having noted the EH2 starting up.
Completely unnerved by this disproportionate reaction, she said, "I...I just said that the filler is running again..."
"Ohhhh....I thought you said it was RAINING again!"
26 October 2009
old adages die hard
Sunday nights are supposed to be slow. There were actually five lab techs scheduled to work tonight, but Smitty and RD were taking care of the 5day so they were not in the lab very much (except Smitty came in and totally saved us when were all buried in plating samples).
It ended up being pretty busy, just doing routine things around the lab. By the end of the night I was running around trying to get everything done and when I went to put my samples away I dropped one of the cartons, exploding it all over the floor of the hot room.
I was irritated because I had so many other things to do and I couldn't even find the stupid mop, I felt like I might actually cry. Frustrated tears springing to my eyes, I suddenly thought...there's no use crying over spilled milk - and I started to laugh.
It ended up being pretty busy, just doing routine things around the lab. By the end of the night I was running around trying to get everything done and when I went to put my samples away I dropped one of the cartons, exploding it all over the floor of the hot room.
I was irritated because I had so many other things to do and I couldn't even find the stupid mop, I felt like I might actually cry. Frustrated tears springing to my eyes, I suddenly thought...there's no use crying over spilled milk - and I started to laugh.
25 October 2009
five days old
I was off Sunday and Monday nights this past week. During the day Tuesday, I made some cup-pies that I brought in to work Tuesday night. I bake a lot and I bring my baked goods to work so that I don't eat them all. Sometimes I leave a plate out in the break room for anyone, but most of the time I put it in my super-secret hiding place (it has been the same spot for a year and it is really not at all super or secret or hidden) and tell people I like that it is there.
Since we stopped being friends, I hadn't told #1 about any baked goods I brought in. It wasn't that I didn't want him to be able to have any cookies or pie or whatever, I just didn't know how to start that conversation. I realize that sounds stupid, you start (and end) that conversation with, "hey, there are some brownies in the break room if you want some," but I just felt weird extending this friendly gesture to someone I was so very much not friends with anymore.
Anyway, this time I finally went ahead and told him. He kept asking where they were and apparently not understanding when I told him that they were in my usual spot. He asked several times Tuesday night, but didn't have any pie. He was off Wednesday and Thursday night, but by then there were still two cup-pies left. Friday night he asked if there were any left and where they were, but he still didn't have any. When I came in tonight, he asked again if there were any left and I said, "Unless someone threw them out there are still two up there, but I don't know if they'll even still be good." He said he was going to check it out and left.
Twenty minutes later, #1 came back into the lab and said to me, "Those were really good....but...if it had mold on it is it going to make me sick?"
I laughed, because I thought he was joking.
He was not.
DK was there when #1 ate the pies and he told me exactly what had happened:
#1 took the pies out and was looking at them when DK came in. #1 asked if pumpkin pie was supposed to have white stuff on it. DK could not see the surface of the pie from wherever he was standing. He told #1 no, and the pies were almost a week old and it was probably mold.
#1 shrugged, said "eh," and ate the pie anyway.
Since we stopped being friends, I hadn't told #1 about any baked goods I brought in. It wasn't that I didn't want him to be able to have any cookies or pie or whatever, I just didn't know how to start that conversation. I realize that sounds stupid, you start (and end) that conversation with, "hey, there are some brownies in the break room if you want some," but I just felt weird extending this friendly gesture to someone I was so very much not friends with anymore.
Anyway, this time I finally went ahead and told him. He kept asking where they were and apparently not understanding when I told him that they were in my usual spot. He asked several times Tuesday night, but didn't have any pie. He was off Wednesday and Thursday night, but by then there were still two cup-pies left. Friday night he asked if there were any left and where they were, but he still didn't have any. When I came in tonight, he asked again if there were any left and I said, "Unless someone threw them out there are still two up there, but I don't know if they'll even still be good." He said he was going to check it out and left.
Twenty minutes later, #1 came back into the lab and said to me, "Those were really good....but...if it had mold on it is it going to make me sick?"
I laughed, because I thought he was joking.
He was not.
DK was there when #1 ate the pies and he told me exactly what had happened:
#1 took the pies out and was looking at them when DK came in. #1 asked if pumpkin pie was supposed to have white stuff on it. DK could not see the surface of the pie from wherever he was standing. He told #1 no, and the pies were almost a week old and it was probably mold.
#1 shrugged, said "eh," and ate the pie anyway.
24 October 2009
the forty stupidest minutes of every day
I realized tonight that everyone on first and second shift must think I am absolutely insane. Our shifts overlap by twenty minutes, so that the outgoing shift can fill in the incoming shift on what's going on in whichever zone they'll be covering that day.
This means that I see second shift for twenty minutes at the beginning of my shift, when I am wide awake, fully caffeinated, and usually very much affected by whatever has been going on in my outside life - either happy, sad, excited, angry...etc. Basically, before I settle down and get into work, I am a complete basket case. This is all second shift sees of me.
I see first shift for twenty minutes at the end of my shift, when I am worn down, stressed, tired, sore and usually very much not focused on work anymore. Basically, when I know that my shift is just about over and I get to leave and go home and possibly even sleep soon, I am practically a zombie. This is all first shift sees of me.
Sometimes I am a basket case, and sometimes I am practically a zombie (without any appetite for human flesh thank you very much) but most of the time I am really smart and articulate and funny...it seems a shame that most of the people I work with never see the good parts.
This means that I see second shift for twenty minutes at the beginning of my shift, when I am wide awake, fully caffeinated, and usually very much affected by whatever has been going on in my outside life - either happy, sad, excited, angry...etc. Basically, before I settle down and get into work, I am a complete basket case. This is all second shift sees of me.
I see first shift for twenty minutes at the end of my shift, when I am worn down, stressed, tired, sore and usually very much not focused on work anymore. Basically, when I know that my shift is just about over and I get to leave and go home and possibly even sleep soon, I am practically a zombie. This is all first shift sees of me.
Sometimes I am a basket case, and sometimes I am practically a zombie (without any appetite for human flesh thank you very much) but most of the time I am really smart and articulate and funny...it seems a shame that most of the people I work with never see the good parts.
23 October 2009
this really happened
Tonight, DK (I kid you not, internet!) referred to me as "a poor little Jew girl." Like, right to my face, without remorse or apology.
It was AMAZING.
It was AMAZING.
22 October 2009
are you even speaking English?
When you work with people for a while, you tend to develop the same kind of link that you have with close friends and family, where the other person knows what you're thinking without you saying it or what you're trying to say when you express yourself in the least articulate way possible.
Actual quotes from tonight, understood by everyone present...
"So after that you'll just have one of two and the other one."
"If he comes in here and tells you 3 o'clock, don't do it."
"Yeah, if it comes out I'll do the thing and send you a..." (in all fairness, this last one was accompanied by hand gestures)
Actual quotes from tonight, understood by everyone present...
"So after that you'll just have one of two and the other one."
"If he comes in here and tells you 3 o'clock, don't do it."
"Yeah, if it comes out I'll do the thing and send you a..." (in all fairness, this last one was accompanied by hand gestures)
21 October 2009
everyone has their price?
My fellow lab tech, MH, and I were discussing #3 last night, when GP (a processor), apologizing for eavesdropping, assured me that for a certain price, he would get rid of anyone who was bothering me. Permanently.
Also, for $50, he would screw up the system so they couldn't run the rest of our shift.
Everyone on 3rd shift is so kind-hearted, don't you think?
Also, for $50, he would screw up the system so they couldn't run the rest of our shift.
Everyone on 3rd shift is so kind-hearted, don't you think?
18 October 2009
battle wounds
I've had this small but very dark bruise on my knee for a couple of days and I had no idea where it came from until tonight when it finally hit me. Literally. I was climbing down from a silo and smashed my knee against the top rung of the ladder.
"Ohhhh, that's how I got that bruise!"
It is still small, but very...darker.
"Ohhhh, that's how I got that bruise!"
It is still small, but very...darker.
17 October 2009
hockey
On lunch tonight, someone mentioned the Sabres' current record. I smirked, because he hadn't included that night's win against my poor, pathetic Islanders.
When questioned, I told the guys that, yes, I'm a big hockey fan, but no, I am not into the Sabres.
I was then told, "psh, you don't know the first thing about hockey."
"What?" I said, to the offending party, "I don't know anything about hockey because I'm a girl?"
The silence stretched for probably ten seconds but it felt like eons....he says, "...yeah."
I laughed and then he did the typical guy thing of trying to make me prove it. He asked me the best Islanders player of all time. I didn't really think about it and answered Bossy. Obviously that is the correct answer.
In hindsight, it would have been wayyyy funnier if I had thought about it for a second and said Miroslav Satan.
When questioned, I told the guys that, yes, I'm a big hockey fan, but no, I am not into the Sabres.
I was then told, "psh, you don't know the first thing about hockey."
"What?" I said, to the offending party, "I don't know anything about hockey because I'm a girl?"
The silence stretched for probably ten seconds but it felt like eons....he says, "...yeah."
I laughed and then he did the typical guy thing of trying to make me prove it. He asked me the best Islanders player of all time. I didn't really think about it and answered Bossy. Obviously that is the correct answer.
In hindsight, it would have been wayyyy funnier if I had thought about it for a second and said Miroslav Satan.
BVBeef in CT6
The one time I really fell at work, I was in main lab and it was really busy, so I was in a rush. I got a sample of bay valley beef broth out of CT6, slipped in some gelatin slime and fell, like a huge, comic prat-fall, landing with all my weight on my left wrist and then my hip, and sloshing the entire beaker of beef broth directly over my head. It hurt, man. Plus, I was covered in beef broth.
The next time I had to get a sample of bay valley beef from the same silo, I was super careful where I walked as I headed back to the lab. As I left the 4oz lab, I completely just tripped over my own feet and sloshed the sample into my face. I have no idea how that even happened.
Tonight, just before the end of my shift, one of the blenders asked me to check CT6. Bay Valley beef.
...I thought my death might be imminent.
...I got the sample without incident.
The next time I had to get a sample of bay valley beef from the same silo, I was super careful where I walked as I headed back to the lab. As I left the 4oz lab, I completely just tripped over my own feet and sloshed the sample into my face. I have no idea how that even happened.
Tonight, just before the end of my shift, one of the blenders asked me to check CT6. Bay Valley beef.
...I thought my death might be imminent.
...I got the sample without incident.
Wednesday night
I was a tetra zombie today. I had seven products one hour. I thought my head was going to explode, but at least I had some help this time. By the time my shift was over, there were only three products running...when I told the 1st shift tech what was going on, I felt like I had conquered those four products - like the reason it wasn't busy was not that most of the product had been run and now those systems were turning and that's just how the schedule works, but like it wasn't busy anymore because I KICKED THOSE PRODUCTS' ASSES.
Tuesday night
Tonight there was one of the biggest rainstorms I've ever seen....in the lab. It is just a regular fact of life that our ceiling leaks on occasion - in my experience it's always been water, but my boss, CK, told me today that I should be careful because you never know when it might be caustic! - this usually happens on third shift, so it is practically routine to set out buckets under the largest drips, move all of the electrical equipment out of the way, let someone know to turn the water off and wait for it stop so we can mop up the mess. Our supervisor, DK, is involved in the process.
I stayed over into first shift today and there was a slight drizzle - probably just some water still hanging out above the ceiling tile - and CK freaked out about it - Chops was climbing the counters to find the problem within ten minutes. I don't think he actually fixed anything, but still, why can't we fix things on 3rd?
I stayed over into first shift today and there was a slight drizzle - probably just some water still hanging out above the ceiling tile - and CK freaked out about it - Chops was climbing the counters to find the problem within ten minutes. I don't think he actually fixed anything, but still, why can't we fix things on 3rd?
11 October 2009
slow night
There was a thing that happened with #1 last night, but this is way funnier:
A blender, CD, was walking toward the lab as I was on my way to get my tetra audit. I was far enough away from him that it wouldn't have been rude if he hadn't held the door open for me, but he did. So he was standing there, holding the door open for a few seconds while I walked through the filler room.
As I walked through the door, he looked me straight in the eye and mouthed, I think, "what the fuck."
I am going to spend the rest of my life wondering what that meant.
A blender, CD, was walking toward the lab as I was on my way to get my tetra audit. I was far enough away from him that it wouldn't have been rude if he hadn't held the door open for me, but he did. So he was standing there, holding the door open for a few seconds while I walked through the filler room.
As I walked through the door, he looked me straight in the eye and mouthed, I think, "what the fuck."
I am going to spend the rest of my life wondering what that meant.
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