The first thing I('m supposed to) do when I walk in to the lab is read the lab communication log. Last night, I actually did. It paid off. The most recent note in the log subtly stated that HG has been fired.
DK has been not so subtly hinting at this all week, but sometimes he is a great big liar, so it was hard to believe.
Now, Internet, I don't want to come off as s bitch, I feel bad that she lost her job. She is a decent human being and I wouldn't wish the struggle of unemployment on anybody, especially the way the economy is today. Having said that, she was an absolutely atrocious employee who should have been let go ages ago. She was mean and rude to everyone she encountered, she was careless and lazy, and she hated the job.
I will even kind of miss her. Apparently, most of the other lab techs do not feel the same. The note in the log had been copied, highlighted and framed. It was posted on the side of one of the incubators.
30 July 2010
29 July 2010
My favorite thing that ever happened.
I've mentioned before that there is one tetra supervisor on third shift who is basically amazing and I adore him. I don't know exactly what happened, but that wonderful man lost his job recently. The tetra department and the plant as a whole have suffered a huge blow, even if they don't know it.
I never told this story on here, because it's less effective with initials rather than real names, but it is absolutely ny favorite thing that ever happened.
One day, MH and I stayed after our shift to deal with some low solids at the end of a horizon run. The warehouse people had pulled the last pallet for us, and it was already being gone through by some of the tetra staff. We went over there to find paks from earlier times to test. The tetra supervisor, GW, was there with one of the filler operators. While we were looking, GW yelled at the filler operator in such a way that I not only felt guilty, but kind of wanted to run away and cry, even though he was not addressing me. I'd never seen him angry before.
A few minutes later, MH was in the lab talking to another lab tech (incidentally also initialed MH) while doing the testing and I had run out to grab some more paks. When I walked back in, GW was standing just inside the door of the lab, but where the other MH couldn't see him. Our beloved MH had just asked her if she'd ever seen GW get angry. The other MH said, loudly, as I walked in to the conversation knowing exactly what they were talking about and that the man in question was standing well within earshot, "why, did he scream at you?"
Trying to cover and subtly gesture that he was standing right there, I said, "who, DK?"
And the other MH, in her greatest moment of glory, said, "No, GW!"
It saddens me that this will never be funny again.
I never told this story on here, because it's less effective with initials rather than real names, but it is absolutely ny favorite thing that ever happened.
One day, MH and I stayed after our shift to deal with some low solids at the end of a horizon run. The warehouse people had pulled the last pallet for us, and it was already being gone through by some of the tetra staff. We went over there to find paks from earlier times to test. The tetra supervisor, GW, was there with one of the filler operators. While we were looking, GW yelled at the filler operator in such a way that I not only felt guilty, but kind of wanted to run away and cry, even though he was not addressing me. I'd never seen him angry before.
A few minutes later, MH was in the lab talking to another lab tech (incidentally also initialed MH) while doing the testing and I had run out to grab some more paks. When I walked back in, GW was standing just inside the door of the lab, but where the other MH couldn't see him. Our beloved MH had just asked her if she'd ever seen GW get angry. The other MH said, loudly, as I walked in to the conversation knowing exactly what they were talking about and that the man in question was standing well within earshot, "why, did he scream at you?"
Trying to cover and subtly gesture that he was standing right there, I said, "who, DK?"
And the other MH, in her greatest moment of glory, said, "No, GW!"
It saddens me that this will never be funny again.
27 July 2010
Tested and proven
One of the most amazing and strange coincidences at the ol' milk factory involves the milk lines themselves.
Every time, and I mean every single time the milk line is expected to start up or go on a flavor change, it will do so when the lab tech was planning on going to lunch. It's uncanny. It does not matter if it's first, second or third shift. It does not matter if you are trying to head out for an early meal so you can get back in time or if you're trying to squeeze your break in late in the shift once everything else is done. Whatever time of day it is, when you are planning on walking out the door, the processor will walk in with a sample for you.
Ex: it is 0050. I am in ESL. It has been down since an hour before our shift started, about 1700. MH says, "can you go to lunch at 0145?" I say, "sure, unless milk starts up." At 0055, GP brings in my line fill. The line actually starts at 0153.
Every time, and I mean every single time the milk line is expected to start up or go on a flavor change, it will do so when the lab tech was planning on going to lunch. It's uncanny. It does not matter if it's first, second or third shift. It does not matter if you are trying to head out for an early meal so you can get back in time or if you're trying to squeeze your break in late in the shift once everything else is done. Whatever time of day it is, when you are planning on walking out the door, the processor will walk in with a sample for you.
Ex: it is 0050. I am in ESL. It has been down since an hour before our shift started, about 1700. MH says, "can you go to lunch at 0145?" I say, "sure, unless milk starts up." At 0055, GP brings in my line fill. The line actually starts at 0153.
26 July 2010
So very many pudding checks
24 hours of pudding and bnb is enough to drive any lab tech to take a dive off the top of SK1 (the highest point in the plant). But I am still here, Internet, I've lived to tell the tale.
It's not much of a tale, actually, mostly I just ran back and forth across the factory checking pudding silo after pudding silo after pudding silo. I only managed one of my four allowed short breaks (in twelve hours). None of my work buddies were there so I had no one to talk to and I think I'm getting sick!
Super, super night...in the sense that it's finally over.
It's not much of a tale, actually, mostly I just ran back and forth across the factory checking pudding silo after pudding silo after pudding silo. I only managed one of my four allowed short breaks (in twelve hours). None of my work buddies were there so I had no one to talk to and I think I'm getting sick!
Super, super night...in the sense that it's finally over.
24 July 2010
Is it just me or are the smells around here particularly...vivid...tonight?
Have you ever wondered what it would smell like if you melted banana 'now and laters' into some boiling chicken broth? Have you ever wondered what that would smell like if you did it in a locker room of burly men after an intense basketball game?
Me neither.
But I think I have a pretty good idea, based on what the factory smelled like last night.
You'll be surprised to know you're really not missing out.
Me neither.
But I think I have a pretty good idea, based on what the factory smelled like last night.
You'll be surprised to know you're really not missing out.
23 July 2010
Scheduled for allergens
I was on the schedule for allergens plus an actual zone today. I was the third person assigned allergens for
this particular run. I was supposed to just a back-up in case the run went a little long (it was supposed to end midway through second shift) to just get the last few samples done.
The run started a full twelve hours late and hadn't even finished the second of three flavors when I left.
As the back-up, I ran 46 samples from this run. The other two people originally scheduled for allergens did two total.
They all passed, but I did have to re-run four of my samples because my genius mathematical skills briefly convinced
me that five plus fourteen is seventeen.
In even lighter news, DK said something about how he's not the "box police" and I thought I might die laughing.
this particular run. I was supposed to just a back-up in case the run went a little long (it was supposed to end midway through second shift) to just get the last few samples done.
The run started a full twelve hours late and hadn't even finished the second of three flavors when I left.
As the back-up, I ran 46 samples from this run. The other two people originally scheduled for allergens did two total.
They all passed, but I did have to re-run four of my samples because my genius mathematical skills briefly convinced
me that five plus fourteen is seventeen.
In even lighter news, DK said something about how he's not the "box police" and I thought I might die laughing.
21 July 2010
Iodine
In preparation for the SQF audit, one of the things we've begun doing is the "broken glass report."
Essentially, standards require that we take inventory of all of our glass and brittle plastic once every shift. Because of the amount of glassware we have scattered in various areas around the lab, we are not totally complying with that standard, but we have a sheet where you write it down every time you break something, so that supposedly some kind of inventory could be maintained. It is then checked off daily if something got broken and cleaned up properly, or if everything was "ok".
Junior says (and I am beginning to believe her) that since the broken glass sheet was posted, she has been much clumsier and keeps breaking things. Yesterday, she broke the 64oz volumetric flask that we use for milk. (A $498 value.) Last night, she managed to do one better and dropped a liter bottle of 0.02N Iodine.
The stain on the floor can only be described as epic.
Mopping yielded no result.
"Will chlorine get it clean?" MH wondered. I took a napkin, wet it with straight chlorine and scrubbed a tiny piece of yellow floor. It worked.
MH and I spent well over an hour scrubbing the floor in the back of the lab with scrubby pads and undiluted chlorine.
Once it was clean, we spent the rest of the night taking care of start-ups and plating and what-not...completely high on chemical fumes.
Essentially, standards require that we take inventory of all of our glass and brittle plastic once every shift. Because of the amount of glassware we have scattered in various areas around the lab, we are not totally complying with that standard, but we have a sheet where you write it down every time you break something, so that supposedly some kind of inventory could be maintained. It is then checked off daily if something got broken and cleaned up properly, or if everything was "ok".
Junior says (and I am beginning to believe her) that since the broken glass sheet was posted, she has been much clumsier and keeps breaking things. Yesterday, she broke the 64oz volumetric flask that we use for milk. (A $498 value.) Last night, she managed to do one better and dropped a liter bottle of 0.02N Iodine.
The stain on the floor can only be described as epic.
Mopping yielded no result.
"Will chlorine get it clean?" MH wondered. I took a napkin, wet it with straight chlorine and scrubbed a tiny piece of yellow floor. It worked.
MH and I spent well over an hour scrubbing the floor in the back of the lab with scrubby pads and undiluted chlorine.
Once it was clean, we spent the rest of the night taking care of start-ups and plating and what-not...completely high on chemical fumes.
20 July 2010
Gel-hell
Last night I was not remarkably busy. I was running jello, which is the simplest product to test and has been much easier to deal with lately because we haven't been adjusting the blends (supposedly they are creating new specs?). As a finished product, we test jello once every hour.
In my eight hour shift last night, I did TWELVE finished product jello audits.
In my eight hour shift last night, I did TWELVE finished product jello audits.
19 July 2010
Stats lie
I was wrong about there being a one in fifty chance of #1 speaking to me this month. The chances of him actually sharing a meaningful conversation with me, explaining why he has been or even (yeah right) apologizing for being such a jerk are slim, but he did talk to me last night.
...About my car.
...About my car.
16 July 2010
That's not sqf
We have this big, important audit coming up next week. The audit is to see if we meet SQF (safe quality food) standards.
We had a plant meeting to discuss what everyone needs to know, what we need to start doing, and what we need to stop doing. At one point the manager running the meeting told us he was going to tell us how to wash our hands. Not when, how. Awesome.
Anyway, all night and probably forever on, every time anyone sees someone do something...questionable... They say, "that's not SQF."
Things that are not SQF:
-chewing gum
-cell phones
-sneezing in the plating room
-prying open the door to the plant with your safety glasses
We had a plant meeting to discuss what everyone needs to know, what we need to start doing, and what we need to stop doing. At one point the manager running the meeting told us he was going to tell us how to wash our hands. Not when, how. Awesome.
Anyway, all night and probably forever on, every time anyone sees someone do something...questionable... They say, "that's not SQF."
Things that are not SQF:
-chewing gum
-cell phones
-sneezing in the plating room
-prying open the door to the plant with your safety glasses
15 July 2010
Weird night
Last night just started off strange. I witnessed this woman (whose name I could not spell if I...looked at it on her nametag every day....) do this crazy booty dance. I have no idea what it was about, because I just couldn't bring myself to ask.
Within the same hour, I walked into the control room just as JK let rip this big fart pretty much right in my face.
I'm sure both of them were more embarrassed than I was, but everything just felt a little surreal.
Within the same hour, I walked into the control room just as JK let rip this big fart pretty much right in my face.
I'm sure both of them were more embarrassed than I was, but everything just felt a little surreal.
14 July 2010
allergen shmallergen
Allergens are like this huge deal that they spent months trying to find some time to train me because it was sosososo important that I learn how to do them.
I haven't done allergens in over a month.
I was assigned to allergens/pudding last night, which is kind of a weird combination, but way better than allergens/milk, which has happened a few times. Trying to do a delicate test for particles of milk protein at the same time as you are testing half gallons of actual cow's milk off line every half an hour...that's a joy let me tell you.
I kind of forgot how to do the test.
It took me half the night just to test sixteen samples, which is not a large number at all, but I did it and they all passed.
Yay me.
PS we still have not proved that I am even remotely qualified to be doing this test, since I failed the customer-mandated weekly blind samples the first time and have not done them since.
I haven't done allergens in over a month.
I was assigned to allergens/pudding last night, which is kind of a weird combination, but way better than allergens/milk, which has happened a few times. Trying to do a delicate test for particles of milk protein at the same time as you are testing half gallons of actual cow's milk off line every half an hour...that's a joy let me tell you.
I kind of forgot how to do the test.
It took me half the night just to test sixteen samples, which is not a large number at all, but I did it and they all passed.
Yay me.
PS we still have not proved that I am even remotely qualified to be doing this test, since I failed the customer-mandated weekly blind samples the first time and have not done them since.
13 July 2010
Got 99 problems and sugar free pudding is always one...
Statistics:
-I understand one sixth of every conversation I have with Beavis.
-Seven out of every ten pudding runs have major problems.
-Twenty percent of ESL chocolate gets put on hold for low/high solids.
-Every "minute" DK needs to talk to you takes at least ten minutes.
-The more viscous, smelly or sticky a product is, the more likely you are to spill it all over yourself.
-It is 80 degrees in the lab, 88 in the plating room. 100% humidity.
-The likelihood of getting an air conditioner in the plating room before summer ends is approximately one in thirty.
-The likelihood of #1 speaking to me before the end of the month is approximately one in fifty.
-The odds of someone in the lab quitting in the next two months are about one in twenty.
-There are currently twenty lab techs on staff.
-I understand one sixth of every conversation I have with Beavis.
-Seven out of every ten pudding runs have major problems.
-Twenty percent of ESL chocolate gets put on hold for low/high solids.
-Every "minute" DK needs to talk to you takes at least ten minutes.
-The more viscous, smelly or sticky a product is, the more likely you are to spill it all over yourself.
-It is 80 degrees in the lab, 88 in the plating room. 100% humidity.
-The likelihood of getting an air conditioner in the plating room before summer ends is approximately one in thirty.
-The likelihood of #1 speaking to me before the end of the month is approximately one in fifty.
-The odds of someone in the lab quitting in the next two months are about one in twenty.
-There are currently twenty lab techs on staff.
12 July 2010
Sundays are boring with four people
Last week, they only scheduled three techs for Sunday night, which kind of made sense, because it was a holiday and because everyone was working six days, so they couldn't have put anyone else on without giving her off a different day. Because of the holiday, it wasn't so bad having just three of us.
This week, they scheduled three of us on Sunday night, because...they are insane.
I was scheduled as 2&3, which is normal for a weekend and almost always really busy. I had pudding blending, homoport checks, bnb transferring and 48hr and 5 day for both pudding and bnb. With dailies and weeklies, that's more than enough to keep me busy.
RD was scheduled for 4&5, probably with the assumption that all the tetra lines would be down. They weren't, so I took over most of main lab, too.
I forgot my ID card. It was the best possible night to do so, since I only left the lab/production area ONCE all night.
This week, they scheduled three of us on Sunday night, because...they are insane.
I was scheduled as 2&3, which is normal for a weekend and almost always really busy. I had pudding blending, homoport checks, bnb transferring and 48hr and 5 day for both pudding and bnb. With dailies and weeklies, that's more than enough to keep me busy.
RD was scheduled for 4&5, probably with the assumption that all the tetra lines would be down. They weren't, so I took over most of main lab, too.
I forgot my ID card. It was the best possible night to do so, since I only left the lab/production area ONCE all night.
10 July 2010
Funny things
I sprayed a hose in the wrong direction. I am a genius.
I discovered a silo of enlive (pharmaceutical and therefor our most strictly regulated product) that hadn't been checked in over twenty hours. Oops!
Junior says, "I won't eat it, but I love it all over my body." ...She was talking about jello. And also being sarcastic.
We are still not speaking, but I overheard #1 singing Mr. Sandman.
DK has definitely forgotten about screaming at me about my attitude problem.
Yet another discussion about using processing terms in the bedroom..."I think we broke a seal, better separate off to be sure."
I discovered a silo of enlive (pharmaceutical and therefor our most strictly regulated product) that hadn't been checked in over twenty hours. Oops!
Junior says, "I won't eat it, but I love it all over my body." ...She was talking about jello. And also being sarcastic.
We are still not speaking, but I overheard #1 singing Mr. Sandman.
DK has definitely forgotten about screaming at me about my attitude problem.
Yet another discussion about using processing terms in the bedroom..."I think we broke a seal, better separate off to be sure."
09 July 2010
Unintentional hiatus
It's not that I forgot about you, dear Internet. It's just that I missed one update and then meant to post two the next day (and even knew what I was going to write about!) and then another day went by and another and now it's just been too long to go back and make up for it.
Let's start fresh. Two nights ago, DK yelled at me and insulted me until I cried. Not in front of him, but still. Last night, he was trying to be my best pal again...and #1 made me cry! I am having an awesome week!
In all fairness, I think I may have hurt #1s feelings as well, but at this point he kind of deserves it! (We're not friends again.) I have had a really rough couple of weeks, mostly because of him, but I promise you, Internet, tonight, there will be something funny. No matter how much I get hurt, there's always something to smile about.
Let's start fresh. Two nights ago, DK yelled at me and insulted me until I cried. Not in front of him, but still. Last night, he was trying to be my best pal again...and #1 made me cry! I am having an awesome week!
In all fairness, I think I may have hurt #1s feelings as well, but at this point he kind of deserves it! (We're not friends again.) I have had a really rough couple of weeks, mostly because of him, but I promise you, Internet, tonight, there will be something funny. No matter how much I get hurt, there's always something to smile about.
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