new girl

We have another new person on our shift this week, JM. I really like JM, don't get me wrong, and I think she is going to fit in well with our weird 3rd shift family, but man it is like having another Smitty around. She just gets every little bit of work done before I even think of doing it.

I know I've been sick for the past couple of days and therefor way less useful and way lazier than usual, but this girl is seriously making me look bad.

I have [-----] in my lunchbox...

So as mentioned, I have strep throat. I am starting to feel better and of course I went in to work last night, however, my throat still hurts and I haven't been able to eat much...I've lost about eight pounds in less than a week.

When I mentioned this in front of our dear V-dogg, he told me he had some jelly belly's in his lunchbox and asked if I would like some. I explained that the problem is that it hurts to swallow, which is why I haven't been eating...candy probably would not help.

He then proceeded to offer me a wide assortment of odd foods, all of which he claimed to have in his lunchbox.

There were several others that I wish I could remember, but among the items offered were a baked potato and a stick of butter.

personal/sick day

I get three personal/sick days a year. At my job, we manufacture food. Food that is consumed by the public. Employees are told that it is imperative that we do not come in to work if we are ill, especially if it is something contagious. However, if we call in more than three days a year (or use personal days as scheduled days off), we get in trouble.

Totally logical.

Begrudgingly and reluctantly, I used my first sick day tonight. My fever was 102 AFTER taking ibuprofin and I still considered going to work just to avoid using up one of my three days. How messed up is that?

keep in mind he's 154 years old

The most memorable part of last night's shift was DK telling this fifteen minute story about how his son is visiting and his daughter-in-law smokes pot and his son asked him to pick up rolling papers for the daughter-in-law when DK was going to the gas station to buy some other things. DK explained that he very loudly asked the clerk (who knows him because he goes in there like three times a day for coffee and cigarettes and whatnot) if he could buy "some of those marijuana cigarette rolling papers."

He went on to explain what brand and type he wanted and I know I can't possibly do this story justice here, internet, but when he said every customer in the store's eyes shot open and looked at him...man, you could feel it.

oppressive

It was so warm in the lab last night, that we decided the word of the day would be 'oppressive,' since there was no better way to describe the heat.

In addition to being completely worn out and maybe a little sick after another weekend off and being dehydrated and overheated, I was running Enlive in tetra. Now really that's not so bad for a Sunday night, but there was only one filler the whole night. It was done processing with thirty-something percent in the steritank when I came in and with just the one filler, it was running about 4% an hour.

Watching that number tick down just slowly enough so I knew it wouldn't save me any work at all...pure torture.

weekends off

Late last night the schedule came out for next week - I have the weekend off for the third time in a row.

KS makes the schedule. He is being nice to me because I complained and he realized he was screwing me over with all the Sundays off I was getting, and also because I stayed over to help one day last week when two 1st shift people called in.

The reaction, however, from MH was, "You have another weekend off? Did you sleep with KS?"

Ewwwww.

rumors

When I left the lab for two minutes to get my audit, #1 told MH that he had heard a rumor that #3 has been telling people that he (#3) and I are "fucking."

MH set him straight on the subject (not in a million years, thank you very much) and of course (will guys ever learn?) told me the second I walked back in.

Understandably, I am more than a little perturbed that apparently there is this incredibly untrue rumor about my and the most personal details of my life floating around the plant.

The problem is that I don't know who to be mad at...if he is actually telling people that he and I are sleeping together, #3 would be the target of some pretty serious RC-wrath...the possibility exists, however, that #1 made this up just as a way of finding out from MH if there was anything going on between #3 and me.

Either way, I'm really insulted that #1 would ever think that I would so much as consider having sex with #3.

unedited and disconnected

Occasionally, if nothing completely outlandish happens that I feel like I need to blog about, I'll jot down a note of something funny of some DK quote or something amazing Beavis says as a reminder.

Nothing completely outlandish happened last night, but here, completely unfiltered, is everything written on the back of my scrap paper:

-Reading PHX? Lucky you.
-Put it in your mouth.
-Think like a lab tech. (I might expand upon this another time, it is sort of important.)
-Vaginal flora.
-org2% PT2 67000 from PT2/CT1 (That's milk transfer info, but I said unedited.)
-Head injury/horrific car accident.

...

(wait for it...)

-Midget fritted glass bubbler.

super Smitty sarcasm

Smitty is not sarcastic. Ever. Smitty is the sweetest, kindest, most innocent and wonderful person I know. She is a superhero, but she will not acknowledge this obvious fact.

Last night, she said something sarcastic. She didn't even mean it sarcastically, but it was brilliant nonetheless:

I was talking to #1 about the mess that had been made of the current pudding run and as usual, he let me know that if he had blended it, it would have been fine, but obviously no one else is as good as him.

When I went back to the lab, Smitty asked me something about the pudding and I said it was pretty messed up, because #1 didn't blend it.

Smitty goes, "Yeah, he takes pride in his work."

not a drill

Obviously I didn't burn down the plant or anything, but the most ridiculous thing that happened last night was that I microwaved some VRB to plate my milk samples. When you use a bottle of agar, we have a hand torch that you're supposed to use to flame the edge of the bottle to sterilize it before you pour. I had just pulled the bottle out of the microwave - it was a little too hot to hold bare-handed.

I used a paper towel to hold the bottle. I used the torch on the bottle...

Apparently, paper is flammable.

conspiracy

I am relatively certain that I've just survived a subtle but concentrated effort by the blending department to make my head explode.

a debate!

Last night devolved from a normal night of work into this epic discussion about whether or not it is preferred to have the lights on or off during sex.

After polling everyone in the lab and far too many other employees, the verdict is...

who cares?

direct quote

A gift for you, dear internet, from DK. DK, mind you, is the 3rd shift supervisor. He is my boss.
And so, without context or exaggeration, a direct quote from my direct superior at work:
"Do you want to go on the internet and look up people with disabilities so you can laugh at them?"

accomplished

I was very productive last night. I did a bunch of daily tasks even though I was in main lab, which is one of the busier zones. I did all my own plating. I did a bloater all by myself, even though they weren't even assigned to me. I took two breaks. I didn't forget phx/stk6 a single time.
And, I got #1 to make fun of himself without knowing it. Again.

scheduling mishaps

There were six lab techs scheduled to work last night - one in each of the four normal zones and then MH and I were both scheduled for "BNB project."

When we arrived, we spent the first half an hour or so trying to determine what this mysterious project was. Eventually, we figured out that there really was no project for us to do and that whoever made the schedule just completely messed it up.

There were six lab techs working last night - two people could have managed all of the work we had, three would have been perfect and the normal four would have made for a pretty lazy night.

Somehow, MH and I wound up doing just about everything outside of tank checks and tetra audits, but still took nearly two hours worth of breaks. Huh.

Did I do that?

Running to get my 3 o'clock audit, one of the stackers whom I have rarely if ever spoken to stopped me with a question. He called me over in such a way that I almost thought it would be an actual valid question about work. Instead, the question was, "why'd you go and break #4's heart like that?"

I do not know what I did to #4 that was at all heartbreaking, so I had no way to answer this question.

revolutionary

Tonight, someone who is not a number and is also not old enough to be my father asked me on a date. I think I said yes purely out of shock.

bnbusy

Bag-in-a-box. BNB.
I loathe everything about the 4oz/BNB zone.
We're currently validating a new BNB filler AND a new method of testing our 48hr samples, which means pulling and then testing an enormous amount of product. As the new filler (and two more to come!) wouldn't fit in the tiny corner outside the lab where the old one was, they've moved both (and two more to come!) BNB fillers to literally as far away as possible, without tearing down the entire warehouse or moving into the raw dairy. It's a walk. And we need to pull samples every half hour.

Without factoring in ANY other duties, running BNB could easily chew up your whole night.

I had the new filler running tonight until 0430.

I also had soy pudding going.

Just when I had that under control, they called for a check on a FF blend!

Luckily there were six of us on tonight, because I'm pretty sure I would have passed out if I hadn't had help.

abandoned

I know I make fun of #1 a lot, and our relationship is still very tenuous, but I like having him around, because he is very entertaining and he is definitely one of the people I go to when I have nothing to do, just to chat.
When MH is not there, it is nice to have him around.

The only reason I knew he was there tonight at all was because I parked one spot over from him.

The only reason I knew he left early is because I ran out to my car to get something.

I thought I might die of boredom last night.

no more VM

It was a very slow night last night and I ended up spending an awful lot of time with all the numbers, since I hung out with #3 in the afternoon and #'s 1, 2, and 4 were all working with me.

Of course there is always a lot of fuel for blogging when the numbers are involved, but the best thing that happened last night is that the lab girls collectively decided that we will no longer call VM by his first name. He shall hereby be known as "V-dogg."

new year's celebration

I have only worked one five day week in the last four. Holidays and personal days are pretty awesome all the time, but last night was the first time in my life that I have been getting paid and getting completely wasted at the same time!

It was just a perfect way to ring in the new decade. Hope 2010 treats you good, internet.