sticky

I freely admit that I am clumsy. I drop things, I spill things, I trip over my own feet - I am almost entirely lacking anything that could possibly be called grace.

Island Oasis is one of the thickest, stickiest products we run. It is packaged on the 'bag-in-a-box' filler, which is exactly what it sounds like. The product come off line in these 2 or 2.5 gallon slippery metallic bags. The lab tech must take a big, heavy bag of liquid back to the lab, cut open a corner and pour it into comically over-sized graduated cylinders to measure the volume.

I was running bag-in-a-box all night.

I didn't spill a goddamn drop of the crap.

Instead, I managed to wrangle 2 gallon bags all night without problem, but dropped a 250ml pak of Enlive with the top cut open while moving it from four inches away from the sink to the sink - all over myself and the floor.

personal day

In the interest of updating five days a week, and since I did get paid for last night, here is a non-work related update:

Yesterday was my last personal day of the year. I strung it together with my regular days off to get a five day weekend and go on a road trip. What this boils down to, essentially, is that yesterday I got paid to go to an Islanders game (first time I've seen them win in person in two years) and fall asleep watching Lost with my best friend (whom I haven't seen since April).

Best night of 'work' ever.

start-ups

When I arrived at work at 10pm, I was told that ESL had gone down due to a power failure and that the run would restart around 2am.
Around 3am, I was told that ESL was going to start up around 4:30.
Around 5am, I asked the PO if ESL was ever going to start up and he said, "maybe around 5:30."
When I left at 6:30am, ESL had not yet started.

beavisisms

In a shocking, but amazing moment of clarity this evening, I realized that almost everything Beavis ever says makes a perfect 'that's what she said.'

whoops

I was standing in the blending control room writing down my inventories, innocently minding my own business, when VM snuck up behind me and poked me in the side of the neck with, I think, a pen.

This action was rather upsetting to me, as I HATE having my neck touched at all, but that is a post for another day, internet.

Later on, at the end of our shift, I told MH about the neck-poking incident and we got into an incredibly inappropriate but hilarious discussion of what VM could have poked me with, if not a pen, and the logistics thereof.

It wasn't until I walked away from that conversation that I realized we were just a thin wall away from the blending control room. I glanced in and found VM, Beavis, SW and two other blenders there, in easy earshot of the entire thing.

getting Smitty'd

On second shift, there are a couple of people who probably should not be working in the lab. One of them, HG, has been there for a very long time and she just doesn't care about the job, so she often causes problems for the following shift by omitting necessary information or giving us information that is completely wrong. Therefore, on third shift, whether it is her fault or not, if one of us gets screwed over through someone else's negligence, we call it "getting HG'd".

The other second shifter I referred to is Tea, who means well, but just can't seem to keep up sometimes and tends to cause problems for the following shift by leaving messes and giving wrong information because she doesn't know better. Therefore, on third shift, whether it is her fault or not, if one of us gets screwed over through someone else's ignorance, we call it "getting Tea'd".

Tonight, I got Smitty'd. I'm not sure how much I've said about Smitty in this blog, but she is pretty much a superhero. When I said something about "getting Smitty'd," I think everyone was a little horrified that I would ever say anything bad about our beloved Smitty, until I explained...getting Smitty'd is what happens when you are not particularly busy, but someone else (who is probably Smitty and who probably has other things to do, as well) gets all your work done before you get a chance to start it.

Getting Smitty'd is...awesome.

and the opposite

Last night nothing happened, tonight was not busy in general, but there was one ten minute span of time in which EVERYTHING went wrong. It was kind of unbelievable.

I walked into the plating prep room and the stir bar was skipping around the edge of my VRB rather than actually stirring it, the autoclave had been finished running for at least an hour (it's only supposed to sit for twenty minutes max after it's done), and the plating room table was a mess. I fixed all of these things, turned up the temperature on the VRB and went to plate. When I walked out of the plating room, the VRB was boiling over everywhere. When I poured it, I sloshed boiling agar all over the counter and my arm. When I finally cleaned up that disaster and went back to plating, I managed to get chicken broth in my eye.

The rest of the night went perfectly smoothly.

nothing important happened today

I think this probably happens at all jobs, I know it has happened at every job I've ever had...there are shifts that just go by in a blur. Of course this happens when it's so busy you don't have to time to even look at the clock (and maybe you write down two sets of readings for 2345 on one steritank, WHOOPS) but it also happens on nights like last where I basically did nothing for eight hours, I think.

I know I got to work and I know it wasn't busy. I did some 48 hour rheometer readings, read some plates...each of those activities takes half an hour at the absolute most. I have absolutely no idea what I did the rest of the night, but next thing I knew...six AM. Crazy.

antics

On my way to work tonight, #4 almost ran me off the road. When I was in the parking lot getting my stuff together, he opened my door and said, "hey, sorry about that."

There was a mandatory meeting at the beginning of our shift last night. MH made me snort - loud - right in the middle of it. DK said he could hear it all the way out in the hall.

Later on, #4 started throwing paks of nectar at me. I think he expected me to catch them, but I batted them out of the way so they exploded on the floor. I told him if he was going to try to kill me, he was also going to have to clean up his own messes.

Around three, I was playing with the stapler and I got it all jammed. In fixing it, I cut my finger twice. Next hour, I promptly poured straight sulfuric acid all over it (my hand, not the stapler). I thought salt in your wounds was bad...

Also, MH stopped me on the floor of the plant just to tell me that the 4oz processor, nicknamed 'Unsterile' because of how often he screws up the 4oz systems, had just sprayed her in the face with a hose. I laughed so loud (again) that #2 not only stopped what he was doing, but parked his forklift to come find out what had happened.

This is just an average night.

lesson learned

Last night I made a mistake that I will never make again. I asked DK to help me with bloaters (bloaters are basically what they sound like - paks that have something wrong with them so that the product inside rots and curdles and blows the pak up) before I took my lunch break.

Had I been a smarter lab tech, I could have taken a lunch break that a) was earlier, b) was longer, and c) involved actually eating my lunch.